Tag: mental-health

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MELANCHOLY

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MELANCHOLY

This time of year, I am consumed with an overwhelming sadness, suffocating me. Certain times of the year I am fooled into believing that I may have escaped the entrapment of grief, the feeling that I’m only living half alive. However, I am continually being tricked into believing the magic of the holidays with the everlasting succulent scents of cinnamon and pinecones, representing the holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I struggle even though most will see me with a smile upon my face. Keeping myself busy helps but then there are those quiet times that sneak up on me, catching me off guard. I don’t write this for pity to be bestowed upon me, that is the last thing I am seeking. I share my thoughts with you to remind you of what is so important. The will to survive, to fight these dark desires, feelings of grief, depression, and loneliness. We must truly live our lives to the fullest. This isn’t just a cheeky cliché, but a true expression of survival.

Sometimes it seems easier to surrender to the sadness of life, but harder to get up, get dressed, put one foot in front of the other, and live. Trust me, I know these days, that sometimes turn into weeks, months, and even years, and they can be exhausting, feeling crushed while asking myself “what is the point?”.

Subsequently, there is a point to this madness called life and that is love, connection, and family. Family doesn’t need to be blood, it can be a friend, acquaintance, pet, or even yourself. We were put on this earth for a reason; I truly believe this. We didn’t ask to be born, yet here we are, so there must be a reason. We may not see that reason or currently know what it is. I must believe this, that there is something bigger than us.

My best advice to you and to myself is to never give up. Do some deep soul searching. Seek those around you that love you. If you feel stuck, make a change in your life, even if it is scary. It doesn’t have to be a big change, simple, smaller changes may be just as impactful. It’s just important to change. There is a reason why change is difficult for most people – because it is frightening not knowing what is unknown. It makes us feel uncomfortable and therefore, unwilling to feel this way, we avoid changing something that is overdue.

If it feels uncomfortable, just do it. I’ve found that most things that are hard and scary were some of my best decisions. There is never a right time to start so start right now, today. Remember, you are stronger than your pain.

Someone said this quote to me once, and it just stuck in my head because it’s a fact – you don’t know what you don’t know. Simple and to the point. You won’t know what is best for you until you try it. I think I’ll take my own advice. Everyday is a new day and a new day to do better than you did yesterday. Thank you for listening and happy holidays 😊

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Suicide Prevention Awareness

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SEPTEMBER IS NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION AWARENESS MONTH

The month of September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. Unfortunately, we all know that suicidal ideations, thoughts, and completing a suicide, are not designated to only the month of September, it can happen anytime of the year, but this month is a special time for all of us. It is time for us to take time out to care for ourselves, pay attention to our loved ones who may be struggling and need a little extra support, or to simply be kind to all those whom we encounter during the day. It is amazing how a simple smile, hello, or you look nice today, can make a huge impact in someone’s life.

Taking time out of our busy schedules to devote some self-pampering is not only needed, but a necessity. Too many times we focus on being there for those around us, our family members, co-workers, employees, and such, but we neglect to take care of our own needs. Self-love is so valued and not always recognized in our society. You can’t love someone else unless you truly love yourself and by taking time to reflect on self-care can make a difference in your mental and physical health, as well as those around you.

Some simple self-care tips can be:

  1. Treating yourself to your favorite beverage or treat
  2. Getting a massage
  3. Going on a walk to self-reflect
  4. Journaling
  5. Picking yourself a flower
  6. Exercise, such as yoga or swimming
  7. Meditation
  8. Reading
  9. Manicure or pedicure
  10. Bubble bath

We like to think that we are hypersensitive to our loved ones’ feelings and emotions, that we will be able to tell if something is bothering them. But this isn’t always true. The signs may be subtle at times, and don’t always catch our radar that something is wrong. Opening the lines of communication allows mutual communication, sanctioning someone who is struggling into a conversation. It is always nice to feel listened to, but during times of depression, stress, and overall challenges, our bodies weaken, becoming fatigued. When this happens, we let our defenses down, allowing feelings and emotions to sometimes get the best of us. Knowing that we have people around us who will listen is so helpful during those times of need.

People with depression may also be empaths, wanting to take care of others, however, often neglecting their own needs. They won’t reach out for help because they are the individual helping others and therefore, abandoning their own needs to ask for what they want or need. An empath is someone who feels other people’s feelings and emotions. This may be confusing to them, if they don’t understand it, for it may be hard to distinguish between some else’s feelings and emotions and their own.

Finally, be kind because you don’t know what some else may be going through in their own lives. Words do matter and hurt. The negative effects of social media have affected so many young people in a negative way, making words so important. Choose your words wisely because you cannot undo what has been said. The negativity of that sting lingers on, even after you’ve said you’re sorry. Instead choose positive words to uplift those around you. Be the light in someone’s life, not the darkness. Compliment often with a genuine intent. Laugh more. Smile more, but most of all, love more completely and deeply. Don’t take life for granted because we are not promised a tomorrow, all we have is today.

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What Does Suicide Prevention Mean to You

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WHAT IS SUICIDE PREVENTION

I attended a webinar today about Suicide Prevention with the subject discussion called Means Matter. I like to attend webinars about suicide to learn from others and their experiences. The information is generally helpful. However, this webinar saddened me. I have been attending webinars and conferences since 2017 seeing positive changes towards awareness and prevention, but I feel like our understanding of what suicide prevention means is a bit construed.

I think it is important to focus on the why, why do people feel that they want to die by suicide. I’m often asking myself, why do some people feel sad, hopeless, and helpless but overcome the suicidal thoughts and ideations, whereas others give in to it by giving up? I have not yet found the common link, but I will never stop trying and this is where these webinars are helpful to me and my understanding, by increasing my knowledge.

Hours after the webinar I was sitting at my desk thinking, what does suicide prevention mean to me? To me prevention is like being a lifeguard. The purpose for that lifeguard is prevention. They are trained to prevent drownings by educating swimmers about water safety and controlling the pool or beach environment before an accident can occur. As a lifeguard their main goal is to prevent the drowning from happening rather than saving someone who has drowned.

This is how I look at suicide prevention, finding a way to save the individual who is experiencing suicidal thoughts and ideations before they fall into crisis mode and attempt to complete a suicide. This can be crucial in saving their lives, but we first must find out the why. Which leads me to another thought. When is the crisis mode? Some of our statistics are studied through calls to the crisis hotlines. Research has determined that crisis mode is between thirty to ninety minutes. When individuals call in wanting to give up, then within thirty to ninety minutes they have calmed down enough to hang up, feel better, and are out of crisis mode. My argument is this – is the individual in crisis mode when they make the phone call? The triangle to suicide is helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness. Is that individual hopeless at that moment when they make the phone call or do they still carry some hope?

These suicide hotlines are beneficial and save many lives, but my concern is that we don’t want to put all our trust into these call centers and think that our loved one is out of crisis mode and we can relax. I believe the call centers are great for individuals that are struggling and need someone to talk to, but do they save someone who is seriously thinking about ending their life?  I lost my daughter to suicide and I too have been suicidal and honestly calling anyone was the last thing I wanted to do because I didn’t want help or to be stopped. My daughter had suicide hotline phone numbers taped in her notebook, the schools do a good job of giving them out to all students, and she didn’t call the hotline that night she gave up and decided to end her life.

Please don’t misunderstand me about my message here, I one hundred percent think these suicide hotlines and call centers are beneficial, at the right time, before the individual is in crisis mode. When they are willing to have a conversation, this is great and the time for these call centers, but crisis mode to me is the most crucial time, and that is the tricky part, it is when they have decided to end their life, and this is when we must notice the warning signs to help them. I have included a few of the warning signs:

  • Wanting to be alone
  • Pushing family members away
  • Mood swings
  • Giving away favorite possessions
  • Talking about “if they die” “what ifs”
  • Listening / watching content about death
  • Random thoughts of guilt
  • Insistent about having their favorite foods
  • Prior suicide attempts – this is the most crucial time to get them help and support

These are only some of the warning signs when your loved one is in crisis mode. Subsequently, if we can get them the help they need before crisis mode or attempted suicides, we can figure out the reason why they are suicidal. Depression and other mental health issues do need to be addressed, but just because you have a mental health disorder doesn’t mean you are suicidal. Seeking a mental health therapist will help to treat the disorder, but let’s find out the why in suicide. Let’s figure out what we can positively do to redirect their thoughts and ideations with a purpose and hope for a future.

We all feel better when we feel needed. Here are some suggestions that have helped me during my struggles:

  • Forming an organization or group event
  • Journaling / Writing
  • Exercise (something daily)
  • Swimming or paddleboarding (water has a great healing ability)
  • Eating healthy
  • Volunteering somewhere you love (I love horses and volunteer with an equine therapy organization)
  • Spending time with my pets
  • Spending time outdoors
  • Binge watching my favorite shows (this one might sound weird, but it helps me to think about non-important thoughts, taking my mind away from my negative thoughts and thinking)
  • Joining a group, such as a yoga class or karate class
  • Meditation
  • Knitting (anything where you are doing something repetitive that doesn’t require you to think – hand-eye coordination)

In conclusion, as a society and individuals we are still looking for the solution to ending suicide. My suggestions will not save the world, but I do think that they may help. As parents and caregivers, trust your intuition and judgement, if something doesn’t feel right with your loved one’s behavior, trust your gut and get them the help that they need. These coping skills and family support have helped me to become the healthier me who is no longer suicidal, but we still have a long way to understand why some chose suicide over life. Continued research to understand the why rather than focusing on the means of how they completed suicide will bring us closer to ending suicide. This is my goal and I will never stop trying to know why.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or ideations there is help. Start the conversation with someone you trust or call or text the Suicide Lifeline at 988 or visit their website 988 Lifeline – If you need emotional support, reach out to the national mental health hotline: 988.

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Kindness is Mental Health Awareness

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MAY IS MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH

In honor of May, which is Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s remember to be kind to others and practice self-care towards ourselves.

Some simple acts of kindness may be offering a compliment, a smile, a simple recognition of someone’s time or efforts, or even a kind thought. Pass it forward when in line at your local coffee shop, restaurant, or any place of business, by offering to pay for the customer in line behind you. Kindness is contagious. Watch and see as your act of kindness passes onto the next person.

When we put out positive energy, it surpasses the ability beyond our circle and flows out into the universe, surrounding others who may later come into direct contact with us, either knowingly or unknowingly. Have you ever noticed that when you are smiling and engaging in eye-contact, others notice this light in you and often will smile back at you? Afterall, we are made up of energy, and that energy is transferred from us to others; subsequently, having a domino effect. We smile at someone, making them feel good inside, and they transfer that energy to the next person, and so on and so on.

Recognizing self-care is also important, not only during the month of May but throughout the year. One way to do this is through diet and exercise. I believe a healthy diet with a regular exercise plan is always a good resource to lift my spirits. Sometimes our mood drops when our bodies are not properly nourished. Regular exercise is known to increase serotonin in the brain, as well as endorphins. These natural occurring chemicals help to boost our energy, enhancing our moods.

The second factor to a healthy diet and exercise is that it has a direct impact on our self-esteem. When we feel good about ourselves, we have a better perspective and attitude about who we are and our lives in general. Some examples of a healthy meal may consist of a balance of nutrients from protein (beans are an excellent source if you are a vegetarian), carbohydrates (brown rice, whole grain, quinoa, edamame), vegetables, fruits, low-fat dairy products, and lots of water. Exercise can be anything that you love, such as the gym, a brisk walk, swimming, bicycle, yoga, stretching, or Pilates to name a few. I love to do yoga several times a week. During the summer months I get out to the lake on my paddleboard and during the winter months I love to ski with my daughter.

Most importantly, pick something that you enjoy and have fun doing it. This will allow you to continue exercising without thinking of it as a chore. And of course, take a day off from exercise if you are feeling tired and find something that may be more relaxing, but still a positive coping tool, such as reading a book or baking.

So, the next time you are out and about, thinking that your smile, compliment, or positive thought doesn’t make a difference, redirect that thinking process towards a more positive perspective because it does make a difference. This is what we all need during turbulent times – positive energy flowing through ourselves and into the universe, not hate, but pure love and kindness.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or ideations there is help. Reach out to someone you trust or contact the suicide 988 Lifeline at https://988lifeline.org/ or texting 988.

You are not alone, and you matter!

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The Secret Parasite Entangled in Depression

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THE SECRET PARASITE ENTANGLED IN DEPRESSION

Depression is a parasite that grabs hold of you, unwilling to let go.

What does depression look like? It is the one who brings the light into your world of darkness, feeling a happiness growing inside of you, flourishing and making you feel alive again, but it lies to you because it will take it all back.

It has a special charisma and charm about it. Its smile is contagious, making you laugh and cry, maybe even in the same day. It could be for something validated or for nothing at all. It has so much in common with you that you find an instant connection with it but also wish for it to go away.

Have you ever met it? It catches you off guard. You make deals with yourself on the good days, feeling like yourself again, forgiving those who have wronged you, feeling like you want to be a better person. Liking who you are in that single moment, because you have a new sense of peace. You want to smile at strangers, as you walk by them because you are genuinely happy.

But then that one day the sunshine hides behind the cloud, as the cloud becomes dark. A darkness evolves, suffocating the light that once surrounded you. You’re confused because you didn’t see this darkness, you thought it had gone away. It wasn’t there one day and then it suddenly reappeared.

The darkness is called depression. You had been filled with the light of happiness; however, now engulfed in the darkness of depression. You try to bring the light back out and to life, but you can no longer see it. Glimpses of it appear every now and again, but then the light fades, until one day the light doesn’t come back on. And what you’re left with is only the darkness.

Depression is like a parasite. It feeds from your soul, taking all your energy and light, until you are left with nothing. You’re tired, exhausted, and weak and unable to fight back. You try to fight back, but it’s all consuming, allowing no light to come back into your world. It has taken over and once again it controls you. It consumes you like a black cloud, suffocating you until you can no longer breath, so you give up.

You know the sunshine is out there, somewhere because where there is darkness, there is also light. Nothing stays dark forever.

There are not just two choices, to either fight or to give up. It’s not all black and white, there is a lot of grey in between too and it’s called healing.

There is hope. Depression is real, but it doesn’t define you. Don’t let it be your story. Seek help through your community, find a therapist that validates you, and turn your trauma into something positive for someone else to learn from your insight. And most of all, don’t give up! That is not an option because you are not alone on this journey called life ❤

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts or ideations, there is help. Text 988 or call the Suicide Crisis Hotline. For more information, visit their website:

988 Lifeline – If you need emotional support, reach out to the national mental health hotline: 988.

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The Santa’s Angels Promise

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THE SANTA’S ANGELS PROMISE

One of our main programs at The Jewels’ Angels Foundation is the Santa’s Angels Holiday Drive. This year we are supporting the Wellspring Services in Seattle, Washington. An organization with the desire to “end family homelessness for good”.

Impact – Wellspring

They do this by connecting families to housing resources by working with housing providers and property owners in our communities for people who have lost or at risk of losing the security of their housing situation. They help to prevent families from the devastations of homelessness before it can happen to them, by providing important resources.

This annihilating situation is important to us because we strive to make it a better tomorrow for all children, teens and their families. Without healthy well-adjusted homes, these children and teens are at risk of not having the potential to strive into their full potential. They are our future and without them in it, our progress is bleak.

Suicide and mental health issues that lead to suicide continue to have alarming statistics. It is important to start providing care before a problem arises. This is one of the reasons this program is so important to us – it nurtures prevention.

Through our program, Santa’s Angels, your donation will go towards this much needed organization to support these families. The Jewels’ Angels Foundation, with your donation, will purchase and drop of clothing and essential items to the Seattle location for children from the ages of 0-7 years of age on December 21st. All donations to our organization from December 1 – December 20th will go towards this program.

To show your support, CLICK the link below to donate – here you will see a Donate Button. We appreciate any donation you can give. We cannot fight this battle alone, but we can do it together, as a community.

DONATIONS:

SANTA’S ANGELS HOLIDAY DRIVE – The Jewels’ Angels Foundation, Inc.

As always – Thank you and Happy Holidays!

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AN EMPTY SEAT

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AN EMPTY SEAT

September is Suicide Awareness & Prevention month. What does this mean? It means that it is all up to us to be aware of those around us and assess their behaviors, words, and patterns. Be extra kind to all, especially those who are displaying low energy, depression, anxiety, agitation, or sudden changes in their normal behavior, character, and personality. It is up to us to provide an additional dose of awareness to prevent suicidal actions or attempts, preventing the feeling of being alone, isolated, and not heard.

An empty seat…what does it mean to you? Are you a teen struggling with life’s challenges or an adult struggling in the work force? Wherever you are, is there an empty seat? It’s not just an empty seat. It is where your best friend sits, your co-worker, your boss, your teacher, your student, it can be anyone.

You have noticed subtle changes in their behavior or actions. The seat used to be filled with their presence, but you’ve noticed more and more their absence. The last time you saw them, they snapped at you, which is unlike them. This is not their normal characteristic. They’ve been struggling to keep up with their assignments when they are normally the one who helps you, but when you offer to help them, they graciously decline with the statement, “that’s okay, it doesn’t matter anyway.” Somehow, that statement makes your stomach drop, but you don’t know why.

You have noticed a change in their appearance and hygiene. You’ve noticed drastic weight gain or weight loss and differences in their eating habits. You’ve commented on their clothing choices of wearing long sleeve sweatshirts and jeans in the hotter months; however, their comments stated that they are cold or raise their shoulders that it isn’t a big deal. You notice the subtle ways they cover themselves up when looked at too intently, shifting their gaze.

You can’t help but noticing them withdrawing from normal activities they used to enjoy, making excuses when asked to hang out, and complaining more about physical ailments, such as stomach aches, headaches, or just too tired. You have noticed that they say all too much, that they are just tired.

The empty seat has now grown to be the empty seat in the car, the empty seat at the dinner table, the empty seat at the park, an empty seat in their bedroom, an empty seat in your life.

You wish you had noticed the warning signs to suicide when it had been just an empty seat. You wished you asked, “I have noticed you haven’t seemed yourself lately. I’ve missed hanging out with you. I have noticed you’ve been absent and withdrawing (or whatever the circumstance) from activities. Sometimes when people experience things like that, they might be thinking of suicide. Are you thinking of suicide?”

By knowing the warning signs to suicide, suicide awareness can help to prevent suicide, filling that empty seat with their existence, instead of a memory of who they were, but with who they are and will be.

If you or someone you know is showing signs of suicide, having thoughts or ideations, there are resources to help:

Suicide Prevention Resource Center

www.sprc.org

Take Action for Mental Health

www.takeaction4mh.com

Make the Connection – Support for Veterans

www.maketheconnection.net

The Trevor Project – Support for LGBTQ youth

www.trevorproject.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-TALK, or text 988

Resources for those who have lost someone to suicide:

Survivors After Suicide Program

www.didihirsch.org

Friends for Survival

www.friendsforsurvival.org

American Association of Suicidology

American Association of Suicidology – Together, We Will Make An Impact!

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The Innocence of a Child

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THE INNOCENCE OF A CHILD

Growing up in the 1980’s, the discussion around the dinner table wasn’t about our mental health, nor was it talked about in our household for that matter. If one of us was feeling depressed or sad, we didn’t bring it up, we just accepted that we were feeling down or having “the blues”. And with that, we were given our privacy to figure it out.

I struggled with anxiety and social anxiety growing up as a kid. I felt as if I was the only person in the world with this overwhelming feeling because we didn’t talk about it with our parents, our friends, or at least I didn’t.

Television back in the 1980’s was to be desired. We didn’t have much of a selection flipping through the twelve channels, and even less of a selection during the weekends. I remember watching shows like “Happy Days”, “The Munsters”, and “Popeye”, sitting in the living room with my family. We didn’t have much privacy, such as watching television in our bedroom because most of the time we only had one television that was in the family room for the entire family to share. Not having a television in our room meant we couldn’t stay in bed past bedtime or all morning, watching television. Friday nights we watched “Wonder Woman” and Sunday nights a movie of the week came on. We didn’t know any better, but to say our television exposure to the world was monitored wouldn’t be incorrect.

When we got bored, we would have to find something to do, whether we went over to our friends’ house, had our friends come over, or played by ourselves, inventing things, such as playing in the dirt, using our imaginations and role playing based off our favorite television shows.

Recently, I remembered having a conversation like this with my dad, who was a licensed therapist and psychologist, about how much the world has changed for our youth. We discussed the similarities and differences between him growing up in the 1950s and me growing up in the 1980s, although we had big differences, the one thing that remained constant was the ability for parents to monitor outside influences, as they interacted within their children’s world.

Television replaced the radio and yes during that time our grandparents were devasted with the corruption television and movie cinemas might produce in the innocent minds of their youth, but did it? Although new inventions continued to evolve into the perspectives of our youth, they continued to entertain themselves in a relatively similar aspect.

We used our creativity, our artistic minds to recreate, draw, paint, write, play musical instruments, and read. I can’t count the amount of time I spent with my nose in my favorite book, learning about the world, traveling to new places, meeting new people, and learning new ideas, thoughts, and theories through reading.

We didn’t have the privacy our youth has today. Our telephones were in the kitchen or down the hallway, where our conversations were free for all to hear. We didn’t lock ourselves up in our bedrooms for hours or days playing video games, or on a computer, cell phones, or whatever devices we now have access to. Do I think cell phones and new technologies are great? Yes, I do. I love mine and couldn’t imagine a world without them; however, they should be used for what they were meant to do, business, not a toy or entertainment for our youth, becoming their babysitters.

Back to the beginning of my point, does each generation struggle with the same mental health issues? Yes, however, the primary difference is in how it is handled today. We, as parents, tell our youth to communicate, speak up about how they’re feeling, start a conversation. These are all great tips, but we need to pay attention to the amount of time they are spending alone, in isolation.

The definition of isolation is the state of one who is alone. Perhaps a better definition would be “seclusion”, the deliberate withdrawal from others. Because to isolate would indicate to be alone; however, interacting on social media or via cell phone texting is not technically isolating. Secluding oneself from going out to play in nature, role playing, music, sports, or spending time with family, is not always healthy and requires balance.

We have so many privacy laws, but we are forgetting the very important lesson and that is that privacy and seclusion is killing our youth, especially after COVID hit in early 2020, creating more isolation and seclusion from interacting with people. These privacy laws are protecting the big corporations, but we need better protection for our youth. When does privacy become detrimental? It becomes detrimental when our youth chooses to talk with strangers, via social media, internet – rather than within their own circle, including, parents, siblings, or mentors. It becomes detrimental when they spend too much time alone, when their thoughts become toxic because they aren’t utilizing a positive outlet, like play, imagination, art and/or music.

Privacy, a word meant to protect us, but does it? So, this is to all the parents – talk to your kids, teens, spend quality time with them, know their friends, keep them active, and most of all, be aware of their time and if they are spending too much time alone, in seclusion. Our job is to read between the lines when they tell us that they’re okay, but in reality, they are not okay.

If someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or ideations, there is help. Ask someone you trust for help or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, because you are not alone.