Author: jewelsangels

Social anxiety affects more people in the United States than most are aware. Being nervous around large crowds of people or speaking in front of others are concepts that can be thought of as pretty normal. However, there is a difference between social anxiety and specific social anxiety.

Specific social anxiety can be the fear of public speaking, or the fear of not being prepared for a specific task/activity. Social anxiety is different because it involves fears that are not common to most people; such as, the fear of being introduced to strangers or fearing any kinds of social gatherings.

Having to perform these tasks with social anxiety can be stressful, and can lead to feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, and even depression. Often times these people are forced to do these tasks that causes them social anxiety because they are a part of everyday life. These fears may seem irrational, and the people with this disorder usually know this. However, knowing something and feeling something are two completely different concepts. While these people know these fears are irrational, they still experience the physical reactions from these fears such as sweating or a shaky voice.

Luckily, there is a way for one’s social anxiety to be distinguished. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) works to “rewire” the brain passage ways and allow people to form new ways of thinking about their social anxieties. With lots of time, therapy (CBT), and consistency, most social anxieties may be cured.

Another important aspect for treatment is the setting of the therapy. It needs to be a welcoming and non-judgmental place in order for someone to be able to share their fears and their negative thoughts to their therapist without feeling like they are being judged for being irrational. Especially since people with social anxiety are sensitive to what others think about them, this is a very important aspect in treatment to consider.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 and remember you are not alone!

I want to thank everyone who donated and participated in volunteering for the Arcata Walk out of the Darkness, for the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention.

We WILL stop the stigma about suicide and mental illness, by spreading awareness and educating about prevention for teens and all those effected by suicide.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month.  To honor this life-changing cause, The Jewels’ Angels Foundation will be attending the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), Out Of The Darkness Community Walk.

Event Details

Walk Date: 09/09/2018
Walk Location: Arcata Plaza – Arcata, CA
Check-in/Registration Time: 09/09/2018 at 9:00 am
Walk Begins: 10:00 am
Walk Ends: 12:30 pm

You only have one week left to sponsor our team, The Jewels’ Angels Foundation.  Anyone who knows us has been effected by suicide, so please donate today to help us achieve our goal to raise $1,000 for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, educating and funding research projects for suicide awareness and prevention.

The donation link has been provided and thank you; we couldn’t do this without YOU:

DONATION

A lot of effort and time goes into preventative practices relating to physical diseases and ailments. What if we could give the same amount of resources to studying and preventing mental illness? In one study, researchers found that people with substance-abuse disorders had a delayed response time to a certain stimulus. As seen in the image of the brain, this shows up as less activity in the cortical regions than someone without a substance-abuse disorder would have (Kellogg, 21). This powerful study shows us that the brain make-up may give us some insight on the differences in people who have a substance abuse disorder vs. those who do not.
In a way, knowing this information can be used as a preventative tool against substance-abuse disorders. If every person at a certain age was given the option for a brain scan (MRI or EEG) to determine this brain difference, they could be given vital information about themselves. Their doctor could inform them that they do or do not have a predisposition to be more sensitive to substance-abuse disorders.
This is an important topic related to mental illness, because a substance-abuse disorder is considered a mental illness. Also, people with substance-abuse disorders are likely to have a comorbid disorder, such as anxiety, depression, or bipolar just to name a few. So, if we are able to pre-detect substance-abuse disorder possibilities, we may potentially be able to detect other mental illnesses through research studies and brain scans.
Having a substance-abuse disorder may coincide with feelings of worthlessness, low self-esteem, and isolation. Knowing that you were predisposed by your brain chemistry to have a substance-abuse disorder may provide tactical insight as to why you have a substance-abuse disorder. For some, hopefully, these negative feelings can be accounted for in the sense that there is more to the reason they became addicted to drugs than to some negative self-concepts or behaviors.

SOCIAL MEDIA

We, The Jewels’ Angels Foundation, have spoken on the topic of social media before, but this article is from a different perspective.

We have become a society obsessed with our smartphones.  Our phones are either in our hands or nearby for an immediate response to a text message, e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat.  I am sure there are others, but as a mother without teens in the home, it is hard to keep up.  It has become our sense of security. I’ll admit, I am just as guilty as the next person, but it makes me wonder what the effects will be or have become to us.

In today’s times, we hear a lot more talk about mental health, such as, depression, anxiety, and bi-polar.  Are mental health disorders more prominent in our culture now or is it just more spoken about amongst us?  I believe the later.

We have come a long way with our understanding about mental illness and mental health, but we still have a very long way to go.  My question is, if the numbers on the cases of mental illness has not increased, but has always been relevant, then why are we seeing more suicidal deaths, especially in our teens?

Our space has become so compacted that our children and teens do not have places to run, free of harm, and explore the world through their young, innocent minds.  Now their minds are filled with technology  and a new way of expression, some of it is harmful; however,  some of it is not.  It’s a new exploration, filled with new experiences and learning new ways to cope and communicate.  It’s a growing curve, one where we as parents may feel isolated, but need to get connected at the same time, so we can better understand this new form of communication with and through our youth.  And at the same time, we must provide positive resources for them to overcome the technological changes, by providing them with parks, swings, jungle gyms, exercise yards, teen mentor programs, pets that they can learn to take care of and love, and human connections.

It makes me sad, as a mother and as a member of our community, but as parents, we have the power to monitor their time spent on their smartphones and time spent in their rooms.  We need to be providing healthy outdoor activities and family time on a regular basis.  Another issue is our schools.  Don’t take away their recess time and physical education classes.  Make this time spent in a positive and fun way so it doesn’t feel like a punishment, but a time to have fun and be free and silly and just to be a kid, while they still are kids.  They have plenty enough time to be little adults, preparing for their futures, but for now…

When someone has gone through something traumatic, it is only natural for their friends and family members to want to sympathize with them. However, telling someone you “understand” is not the right thing to say UNLESS you have actually experienced it for yourself. For example, I lost my sister to suicide. My friends have been good about how they approach the subject with me, but if they were to tell me they understood, it would simply be untrue. While I’m sure they mean well, they haven’t lost their siblings to suicide, therefore, the statement isn’t true. It doesn’t help.

Instead! To empathize with someone, you may say “Hey I honestly don’t know what you’re going through but I can only imagine how rough it is. I’m here for you.” Or “I know you’re going through a lot right now and I can try my best to understand and empathize with what you’re feeling.”

These are a couple of examples of how you can be there for someone, without telling them that you know how they are feeling, if you don’t. It is okay not to understand what someone is feeling, everyone has their own life experiences and unique struggles, but instead we can connect on familiar feelings, similar rough patches in life and just let each other know that we’re here for support. One of the most underestimated expressions is listening and sometimes, it is okay not to have any words, but just knowing they are there for you.

13 REASONS WHY

As a parent of suicide, I decided to watch “13 Reasons Why”, it took me eighteen months after my loss to find the courage to do so.  I wondered how realistic it would be, in relationship to my experience, as a parent who is suffering with the loss of losing my child from suicide and from my daughter’s perspective, as a ninth grade teen.

The first few episodes made me angry because I felt it was so unfair that we, the survivors, don’t get the opportunity to defend our reasons why; why we didn’t listen, why we were too busy to hang out, why we didn’t say we were sorry.  It was their choice, for example, Hannah, who is played by Katherine Langford, to end her life, but they didn’t allow us the chance to defend our perspective, our faults, and our mistakes.

Subsequently, we are left with this inconceivable emptiness in the pit of our stomach and a never-ending ache in our hearts, without the ability to fix or solve the problem.  We can’t help them anymore because it is too late, they are gone and are never coming back.  It just seems so unfair.

From a parents’ perspective, I understand  Hannah’s mom, who was played by Kate Walsh, sadly too well.  The heart-wrenching fantasy in pretending for just a few minutes, that she has her daughter.  Her desire to believe she can still make future plans of college applications, wedding preparations and grand-children.  If only for a few moments, making you smile that the world is still okay, before the flood of reality suffocates you with the realization that she is gone and you are alone with only your memories.  The past is forever in your for-front of reality, with no present and no future.

However, I do agree with Clay, who was played by Dylan Minnette, when he explains to the school counselor, that he could have made a difference in Hannah’s decision not to die.  We all have that power, but we don’t see it at the time.  It is all in retrospect and this is where, we as survivors, torture ourselves into believing it is our fault and we should have done this or done that.  However, I still believe that once they have it in their minds to end their lives, there isn’t much we can do to change it.  First of all, we, as humans, are not equipped with understanding suicide, even when it slaps us in the face, especially as parents and loved ones.  We want to desperately believe that they are okay, so when they tell us that they are, an overwhelming sense of relief envelops us, even though somewhere in the back of our minds, we don’t fully believe them.

I guess the bottom line, is that a person who is contemplating suicide, is reaching out for help.  Yes, they will do whatever they can do to sabotage your attempts to save them or make them feel better, because a big part of them doesn’t want to be saved; however, there is still the smallest part of them that wants you to save them and they will give you many chances to do so.

That is why I believe awareness is the best solution.  If we know what to look for, distinctive qualities and behaviors, then we are that much closer to being there for them when they need us.  All we need is to save them one extra day and that day will turn into another.

All any of us have, is the present, for we can’t solely live in the past nor the future.  Therefore, if we take life day by day, perhaps we can save the next person who is thinking about suicide.  My wish for the world, is that no person should have to experience the pain of suicidal thoughts or the destruction left behind when someone we love dies to suicide.

We must remind them and ourselves, daily, that we are not alone, it is merely a trick of our mind, but we are loved and will be missed if we were to leave this world and those who love us.  It is up to us to spread kindness and acceptance to all those we come into contact.  You never know, who may be hurting, at that exact moment, when you pass them on the street or in the hallway at school, or in your work place; a gentle smile or compliment can change their life and those around them forever.

A survivor of suicide is someone who has lost a loved one to suicide. Survivors may be moms, dads, siblings, aunts, friends, etc. When a person dies of suicide, there is a lot of focus on why they did it and if there were any warning signs. We may ask ourselves if we could have prevented it. We may have feelings of guilt and may think we were not there for them or supported them as they needed, but it is not our fault.

It is so important, as survivors of suicide, to take care of ourselves. Of course it is okay to mourn for our lost loved ones, but we cannot allow ourselves to fall into unhealthy habits or ignore our own self-health and mental health.

Possible healthy outlets may be seeing a therapist, going to group therapy, going to church, exercise, or more simple activities, such as going on walks/hikes and surrounding ourselves with positive people. It is not a selfish act for us to focus on ourselves, as a suicide survivor, and what we need to do to stay happy, healthy, and most importantly, alive. Seriously! Someone close to us dying of suicide increases the risk of suicide throughout family members and friends by 65% (Medical Daily, Pitman A, Osbourne, 2016). Making sure we are taking care of yourself during these hard times is an absolutely necessary precaution.

Suicide does not discriminate. It does not choose whether you’re rich or poor, black or white, have a big family or small family, or have mental illness history in the family, it can affect anyone. There are so many factors that go into why someone may end their life, but usually it is a combination of several combined aspects.

So be kind and always remember that  being a suicide survivor can happen to anyone. Hug your loved ones close and be a non-criticizing shoulder to cry on when needed. and never judge.  You may think you know what is like to walk in someone else shoes, but until you do, you don’t❤️

Spread kindness and remember…you are not alone, there are resources to reach out to when you’re feeling depressed or suicidal…including us.  We have walked in your shoes, as survivors and with our own suicidal thoughts and ideations, so never be afraid to reach out for help or admit that you do.

MEDITATION

We’ve all heard about meditation and yoga.  Some of us practice it and others may mock it, thinking it’s only for “hippies”.  However, did you know that meditation has great healing abilities for both the body and the mind?

One of the many important aspects in meditation study is the breathing.  Not only does breathing at a slower rate than normal activity increase relaxation, better alertness and having a calming effect, it is actually stimulating different parts of the brain and body.

Meditation as Medicine, a book written by Dharma Singh Khalsa, MD and Cameron Stauth, references the Nadis.  Nadis are a series of nonphysical energy conduits that bring energy and communication to the entire body, mind, and spirit.  They are especially valuable since they are connected to the brain’s limbic system, which controls memory and emotion.

The hypothalamus receive the taste and smell impulses, communicates with the nervous system, controls heart rate, blood pressure, and body temperature.  It also has the ability to control mood and emotions.

Point given, daily meditation has so many great benefits.  I would highly recommend reading Meditation as Medicine if you or a loved one suffers with depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts.  It shouldn’t replace therapy and medication, but it can be a great catalyst to include in your daily routine.

Please join us this Saturday, May 19, 2018 at Santana Regional Park to help the American Cancer Society  fight cancer.  What  is the Relay for Life?  It’s where members of the community fight back against cancer by showing their support by walking individually or with their team support to raise money for the American Cancer Society.

Relay for Life symbolizes the ongoing fight against cancer and is supported by volunteers donating their time to the cause.  That is why The Jewels’ Angels Foundation will be participating in the walk this Saturday.  The American Cancer Society has been kind enough to ask us to participate as a vendor, so make sure to stop by our booth to show your support for both causes; stopping cancer and spreading awareness for suicide.

“Helping teens see that they are not alone with depression and educating on the awareness of suicide”

Where:  Santana Regional Park,  598 Santana Way, Corona

When:  Saturday, May 19, 2018 from 8 a.m to 2 p.m.

Sponsoring:  American Cancer Society Relay for Life Corona

American Cancer Society